On Being Judgmental, Part 2

Judgmentalism is more than something that we are towards other people. It is also what we do to God. It is impossible to be judgmental without judging God.

My grandchildren, Ethan and Chloe, seem to have already been bitten by the judgmental bug. We know this because whenever they don't get what they want, they say "This is the worst day ever." I ask them "Why is it the worst day ever?" Then they tell me about how they did not get the snack they want or the toy they want, or that someone did not allow them to play with matches or stick their fingers in an electric socket. Never mind that whatever authority did not allow them these privileges did it for their benefit. Never mind that they say it coming home from a movie that they loved. Never mind that they had just eaten their favorite lunch and played happily all day. One little "no" makes it the worst day ever.

These little children are expressing a misguided view that is common even with the grown ups around them. Why do we think that our worst day was our worst day? What happened to make it a bad day? For that matter, what made our best day our best day? Are we sure?

Whether a day is good or bad is not up to us. Every day is a providential day, one decreed by God to be the day we receive. Somehow, though we feel it is necessary to label days or events good or bad, and to store away the memory of the day in some neat little pigeon hole in our mind.

But in God's mind, how do we know what is good or bad for us? Illness breaks and softens us. Riches can destroy us. A wedding day is a great day, but becomes a bad memory when the marriage ends in divorce. A firing is a bad day, but becomes a blessing when it opens the door to a greater opportunity. All we have and are comes from the hand of a God who loves us and has a plan for our lives. God can make a good day from a bad one, and a bad day from a good one.

When we label the events of our lives as good or bad based on a moment's pain or enjoyment we are no better than ungrateful children. We are judging God's motives and purpose. If we had the faith we claim to have, we would be happy with what we have, enjoying the moments we have, instead of trying to judge our moments as good or bad.

Having judged God, we move on to judging others. Since we can't accept what God has given us, we can't accept others, either. We want to put labels on people, just like we do on our moments. Is this person good or bad? Are they working for our benefit, or are they out to get us? We do have friends and enemies, to be sure, but most people have their own agendas, most of whom have nothing to do with us. They are neither trying to help us or hurt us, but are living their own lives, under the all-judging eye of God. It is not our place to decide if they are living to God's satisfaction. Instead, it s our job to do good to all people, especially those who call themselves our brothers and sisters.

If we can learn to enjoy what God has given, and give up our right to judge the moments, then we can also perhaps learn to enjoy others without judging them. Every individual who comes across our path was put there, or allowed to be there, by a benevolent God who seeks only our benefit. No one is an accident, and no one can come near us without God's permission. Once we give up the right to judge others, we are free to see the blessings that may come from them.



Later, I'll talk about who we judge the most.