On Being Judgmental, Part 3

Sometimes I wonder if extreme judgmentalism should not be classified as a kind of personality disorder. We are all judgmental at times, but there is an impulse to judge that goes beyond the normal in some people. Being judgmental creates an illusion of being in control. If we cannot control what goes on around us, we reach for the false security of being able to make sense of it. If we can label the things around us as good or bad, we have simplified things into two camps. That makes us feel slightly more secure in our place in life. It also leaves us with a feeling of usperiority over others. Passing judgment gives us a feeling of the moral highground. This is odd, because people who have the same vices still feel somewhat more moral if they can judge others to be sinners for doing the same things that they know they are doing.


This brings up the greatest challenge for the judgmental--self judgment. If we do not judge others or judge God, we still may judge ourselves.

Paul must have suffered from self judgment, judging by what he said in 1 Cor 4:3-5

3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself . 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes.

Paul's conscience is clear because he is forgiven, not because he is perfect. God has taken away from him the penalty for sin.

That was not always true for Paul. When he was a Pharisee, under the law, Paul spent a lot of time in self-judgment. Self-judgment was (and still is) viewed by many as a good thing, a trait that will get us on the road to self perfection. But self-perfection is a dead-end street. We will never get there until we are reborn in the new kingdom of God without the stain of original sin. Until then, we will make errors, mistakes, and even wllful sins.

Most Christians show signs of extreme judgmentalism. Why do I say that? It isn't because they necessarily express their judgment of others. Some do, but most have learned to keep judging to themselves. "Judge not, that you will not be judged." No, I believe Christians struggle with judmentalism because of the misery in their lives. Christians ought to be a happy people, a joyful people. But when we look at Christians honestly, we recognize that most of them are not. That is because inside they still beat themselves up for being bad people. Most of us are more keenly aware of our own sins than we are of others.

Self judgment is basically the same as the judgment we pass on others. All judgment is a desire to feel superior. If we judge others, we are trying to feel superior to them. If we judge circumstances, we are basically telling God what to do. And if we judge ourselves, we are really judging the One who made us.

If you struggle with self-esteem issues, I'm not trying to put you down. Neither am I telling you to stop judgment. Then we would be judging ourselves on how judgmental we are! Instead, I would suggest some readjustment of perception of the way things are, that's all. If we see God more clearly in His relationship to us, then we will also see ourselves the way He sees us.

Here are a few things that God thinks about us.

1. We are fantastically beautiful in the eyes of God. We are the epitome of creation, and the most beautiful thing to Him in the whole world. He did not say of squirrels and monkeys that they were made in His own image. He did not look at turtles and chickens and say "This is very good." He did not die for dogs. He died for us. We are to God as fantastically beautiful as our children were when we first held them in our arms.

2. He is generous with our faults. Sometimes we stress that God is perfection, and that we are all imperfect and sin-stained. But God has a relationshiop with us nevertheless. He talks to us, and comforts us. This is in spite of the fact that our sins are far more numerous and serious than we think they are. The sins we notice are like a spot of mud on a pigs nose--we see them as great, but if we could really see the rest of us, we would know that they are really small compared with the sins we don't see. Our good deeds are are like the collar on a dog. They may be the only clothing we have, but it sure doesn't cover much. God could care less. He loves us, not because of what we do right, but in spite of what we do wrong. He is more generous to us than we are to ourselves.

3. He is passionate about forgiving us. If the value an object is proven by what we are willing to pay for it, then our forgiveness must be the most valuable thing in the world. God paid the price of the cross for us. How, then can we call it of no account? Why do we insist upon holding onto the guilt of past sins when in fact God has paid the ultimate price for it?

4. He wants to walk beside us always. Whenever I am tempted to hold a grudge against a person, one of the questions I have to ask myself is how much that grudge is worth. Is it worth disrupting my life for it? Is it worth changing jobs to avoid seeing them, or changing churches? Is it worth splitting up a family or ruining a friendship? Most of the time, I conclude that grudges are just too expensive.

Self grudges are highly expensive, too. They cause us to avoid confronting ourselves. When we don't like ourselves, we resort to all kinds of diversions and amusements to keep from dealing with genuine issues. We avoid uncomfortable realities, hide from ourselves uncomfortable facts, and think that, if we never think about it, our guilt will go away. We can make it go away for a time, but it is really still there, and the cost of avoidance becomes bigger every day.

God could act the same way to us, but He doesn’t. He would rather overlook our faults, and forgive our tresspasses than to break our friendship. God does not abandon us. It is we that run away from Him, usually because we do not think He can handle our sinfulness. Rest assured, God can.

The biggest argument I can make against judgmentalism is that it is a waste of time and energy. We waste time thinking about oughts and shoulds and have no time left to deal with what is and isn't. Judging self is no more useful than judging God and others.

Nevertheless, judgments do have its uses, which we will talk about in our next installment.