Now that my children are grown, it's time for a self-evaluation as to how I did as a parent. All in all, I think we did well. They are all Christians, all gainfully employed, even if they are under employed, and they all considerate, caring people. Even so, I look back on the experience and think if I knew what I did then, I could improve upon it.
Here are some of the things I wish I would have done better.
1. I would have prayed with them more. When my children were young, it was difficult to get them to pray aloud. After a while, I just quit trying, and got by with simple, formulaic prayers. Even though they have all learned the value of prayer, I think it would have been better had I set a better example before them.
2. I would have been tougher on them. When children are young, they can take a lot more than we give them credit for. I was always afraid of breaking them. As a result, they find it hard now to manage what we should have taught them long ago.
3. I would not have been afraid to say "Do what I say, not what I do." I know this sounds hypocritical, but some things are just to important to leave out, even if we haven't mastered them ourselves. if we have gone in the wrong direction, we don't want our children following.
4. I would have taught them to look around. When we would ride in the car, I of course did the driving. They sat in the back seat not paying attention to where we were going. They didn't have to. I paid attention for them. When we become adults, we cannot live only in our own worlds We have to learn to notice our surroundings--especially people. There's a big, beautiful world out there, you can't learn anything about from television , the computer. or books. You have to look around and see it
5. I would teach them the art of conversation. Holding a conversation is not hard There are three rules to it. Look people in the eye, ask questions, and listen to their answers. You can get by in any company if your practice them.
6. I would teach them to seek the right kind of friends. We need friends who will challenge us to become better than we are. I am not suggesting that we should dump the needy, but if we don't want to become needy, we had better learn to have ambition and drive. You don't get that from books, you catch it from people.
7. I would have told them not to neglect physical exercise. The Romans had a phrase for it "cprpus mens in corpore sana."" A sound mind in a sound body." Those who succeed physically also succeed intellectually emotionally, and spiritually. We know the fountain of youth. It is diet and exercise. Unless we want to die early, we had better drink from it daily.
8. I would have taught them better the value of money. The rules of finance are eternal and inviolable. A penny saved is a penny earned. If we don' work, we don’t have . No one has it easy when we get older. We had better learn to prepare for tomorrow.
9. I would have taught them to be careful risk-takers. Will Rogers once said that we have to go out on a limb, because that is where all the fruit is. The secret of a successful life is not whether or not we meet our initial goals, it is whether he have learned to prepare so that when we fail we will land on our feet. Once prepared, we can be bold, and we can accomplish more than we ever thought possible.
10. I would have been more affectionate. Frankly, I don't know why I wasn't. I wanted to be, but I didn't hug them enough or tell them enough what wonderful and special girls they were. Happy people are always hugging and touching one another. Unhappy people keep their hands to themselves. Happy people compliment each other constantly. Unhappy people only speak when something is the matter. I think it is best to say today what you wish you would have said to someone after their death, and to show someone the affection you found difficult to say. We only have today to get our priorities right. There may be no tomorrow.
11. I would have taught them to give. I have worked in many charitable drives, but rarely did I take my children with me. This is what life is all about--helping others. If we don't teach our children to give when they are young, they will have a much harder time finding the time to do it when they are old.
Here's a partial list of my childrearing regrets. Even as I write them, I think of many that I have left out. Too many. I hope my children forgive me . But God is faithful to forgive. Regret is the ashes of yesterday's fire. It is best not to wallow in it today, but to get busy living and loving now. That is what I want to do now, with the rest of the time God gives me.
No comments:
Post a Comment