Yesterday, a situation that I have known about for more than a week became public knowledge. A close friend was found to have been taking money from the church. I won't mention his name, nor the name of the church. Those who know it know it, and those who don't, don't need to. I mention it, not to further embarrass them, but because I want to share what I've learned from it.
First, I learned not to trust anyone. This is not because we don't love them, but because temptation is universal. The fear of being caught is one of the most powerful guards we have against dishonesty.
Second, I learned that anyone can stumble. I would not have thought it possible for this person to take money any more than I would have thought it possible of myself. But if he can fall, so can we. I know this because in some ways, I already have. We have all done things we shouldn't. And if we fail in small things, we can do it in big things, too, under the right set of circumstances.
My third thought on this is that when we sin, we literally split in two.
Some people divide the world into two groups--good guys and bad guys. The truth of it is much more complex. We can be good one day and bad the next. One day we can be a pious, church-going individual, thoughtful and generous to others, and really sincere about it. The next, we can do things that are unbelievably ugly and destructive. Then we put up a wall between our pious selves and our ugly selves, so that one does not ruin the other. On our pious days, our mind rejects what we do on our ugly days.
I know it sounds like Jekyll and Hyde, but it really isn't. We are the same person. We are not delusional. It's not that we forget, it's just that we choose not to remember. We believe that the good and pious person is the real person, while the other is just a shadow. But the side of us we do not wish to acknowledge is still ourselves, and can come to dominate us. Then one day, the two sides of ourselves collide. Suddenly, the part we hide comes into the light. Our divided self crash together like two asteroids, and we are wiped out in the collision.
My friends predicament has caused me to do some serious self-examination. No sin starts large. It starts as a little crack--a casual flirtation, an innocent deception, a corner cut here or there. But if we don't admit it, it grows. It gets bigger and bigger, and if we don't watch ourselves, it can break us in two.
As a Christian, I am not any better than anyone else. But I do recognize that there a cure for a sinsick heart.
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
" If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." I john 1:5-10 NIV
Light is the greatest disinfectant. Whether it's comfortable or not, we need to walk in honesty and openness.
I pray for my friend, his family and his wounded church.. My hope and prayer is that the pain they are enduring now will result in healing later. I have no doubt that it will.
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