Monday, March 29, 2010

thoughts on my daughter's wedding

I've been too busy this last week to write much, but now that the big event has come and gone, I can at last give time to reflect upon it. Today We have scheduled nothing to do but rest and recover.


This last weekend my oldest daughter, Iris was married to Richard Smith at our church. Dr. Jack Basie and myself officiated. Jack did the message and the first part of the sermon so I could walk her down the aisle. There were in attendance many members of the church, Iris' friends, and a large contingent of performers from the Renaissance Faire, and about a slew of out of town relatives. Iris, determined to spare us expense, did most of the work herself, and got friends to do what she could not do. She made the bridesmaids' dresses, got most of the food, and printed and rolled the bulletins. A friend's mother made the cake. Another friend made her dress for a very reasonable price. The dress was gorgeous. Her cousin Erin sang beautifully. Another friends sang beautifully. Her sisters and best friend were her bridesmaids, and all went off without a hitch, except when her father, overcome by emotion almost tripped and flubbed his lines. It was a grand and glorious day.

We are exhausted. Our emotions were pulled like taffy all weekend, back and forth between merriment and poignancy. We were happy and sad all at the same time.

I remember the day Iris came into the world. It was another emotional day. For weeks before, we tried to settle on a name. We went page by page through the baby name book, and tried ever name we could think of on our tongue, but none seemed right. Then on a youth trip, someone played a cassette

which had a song about a little girl named Iris. We knew that was who we wanted our daughter to be. Iris means rainbow, God's symbol of new hope. On the wall of the labor room on the day she was born was hung a picture of a rainbow. We took it like Noah did, as a sign of God's favor.

I watched her grow from a child to a woman, always sweet, always kind and beautiful. When she faced trouble, she came out on top. Once she broke her leg on a church youth trip and had her foot in a cast. She taught the group to swing dance--cast and all. When she got out of college, she moved to Japan for two years to teach English. She gained a master's degree in English as a second language, When she was in college, she once got a scholarship for Christian character. She is also an accomplished balloon artists, a seamstress, and an amateur magician. She is quite a girl.

Last Saturday, I walked her down the aisle. Rev. Jack Basie asked the question "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" I put her hand on Richard' hand, then went forward to complete the ceremony, tripping over myself as I stepped up to the stage. I did all right until I got to the end, when I was about to read the declaration of marriage. I saw the name "iris Rebecca Fleming"--the name we ave her. Now I was giving her to someone else, who would change her name forever to Iris Smith. There she was, radiant and ready to be a wife. I choked up, and almost had to ask Jack to finish the service, but somehow I manage to get out those words "I now pronounce you man and wife."

The deed was done. She belonged to someone else now. Iris Fleming became Iris Smith.

Someone noticed that when she went from being Iris Fleming to Iris Smith, her initials went from IF to IS. It was an appropriate (though accidental) statement. They all start out as an "if"s--if only they would follow the Lord. If only they would be good people. Then they grow up and become an is--the person they would remain. Iris has become a beautiful is, indeed.

Richard, her husband, told me that when they arrived at the church, he saw, a huge rainbow hung in the sky. It was another omen. God was showing his approval, and his hope for the home that was beginning. It was a wonderful, beautiful hope indeed.

Congratulations to you both, if you read this. I'm proud of the both of you.

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