There is a law--by Randy Rayfield

Randy Rayfield is one of the funniest guys I know.  He's a writer, raconteur, and part-time Santa who lives in Monroe.  He periodically puts our a email called  "Whittlin and Wonderin", giving his observations about life to a small list of friends.  Every one I have seen so far is a gem.  Randy can be reached at prrayfield@interlink-café.com.  Here's an example.

At one time or another all of us has uttered the phase “there ought to be a law” about something that seemed ridiculous. Well, folks, it seems there is a law. Goggle silly, zany laws and you will get a hit of more than 257,000 listings in .26 seconds. Why do I know this? Recently I was listening to the radio and a commercial came on about some service or other and one of the things in it was a comment about a law in Lee County Alabama where it is illegal to sell peanuts after sunset on Wednesdays. This time for some reason, that little piece of information struck in my mind and later that day I did an internet query and found that sure enough there is a law in Lee County (AL) that prohibits the sale of peanuts after dark on Wednesday.

First get your mind around this. Laws are passed because something happen first. In the American legal system, the deed occurs, the citizenry demands action, elected leaders pontificates, laws are written, the law enforcement system enforces and the judiciary judges. While it may seemed the other way around many times, this is how our legal system works.
Using that legal concept, let do ourselves some wondering. What happened in Lee County (AL) on a Wednesday night involving the selling of peanuts causing the good folks of Lee County to have their leaders make it a crime to sell peanuts after sunset on Wednesday? The county fathers just did not decide to pass this law. Something happened that enraged citizens to demand that their elected leaders pass a law to prevent this hideous crime from happening again.
The next time you visit Atlanta don’t tie your giraffe to a street light because it is illegal. Was this a problem in Atlanta at some point? Did the mayor decide to take his wife for a Sunday afternoon drive and found giraffes tied to posts. Did she make a comment leading him to go before city council and demanding something be done? Think about this. Giraffes are not found in the wild in Georgia. Any giraffe in Atlanta had to come from somewhere else. Was the city overrun with giraffes? Do you ride a giraffe? Do you walk one like a dog? How do you tie a giraffe? By the neck? By the leg? I don’t know because my experience with them are limited.
Down the road in Columbus it is illegal to carry a chicken by its feet on Sunday on Broad Street. Again what enraged the citizens in Columbus to make this illegal? Why would it be all right to carry the said chicken by its feet Monday though Saturday? Were enough people carrying chickens by their feet on Sunday on Broad Street to create a public nuisance? I am making an assumption here that the chickens in question were alive. Knowing a little something about live chickens, when you carry one like that they will make a racket. Could it be that all the First Churches in Columbus – First Baptist, First Presbyterian, First Methodist -- are on Broad Street?
Over in Macon it is against the law to eat fried chicken with a fork. This law I can understand. Good fried chicken cooked by Sunday school teachers in cast iron skillets should be eaten with your fingers. And as you are wiping your fingers give thanks to those Christian ladies and the Good Lord.
I have traveled to Kentucky several times but I did not know this. Kentucky requires all its citizens to take a bath once a year. Now this is my wondering question. When you take a job in law enforcement in Kentucky, does your police training include indicators on how to determine if a citizen has violated this law? Is the sniffing out of these criminals given to rookie officers to help them gain experience in dealing with vicious perps? Do you need someone to verified this? A doctor? Your spouse? While we think the evidence would be apparent, how do you determine the length of time between bathing? Will a shower suffice? It could be that this law was adopted from the old country. I have heard of similar laws there. Does the law apply to travelers? Will I need to carry some type of documentation that I have bathed within the recent year?
There is another law in Kentucky that may have influenced the passage of the bathing ordinance. It is illegal to keep a mule in a bathtub. Was it because the people of Kentucky were keeping mules in their bathtubs the reason that a law for bathing was needed? Mules usually do not take to being made to do something they are against doing. While I have never done it, I think it would be difficult to keep a mule in a bathtub. It must have been enough of a problem to make the legislature of Kentucky debate the issue of mules in bathtubs and then pass a law prohibiting it. I guess this is why we need lawyers. What is the definition of keeping? Is it overnight or just long enough to give the mule a bath? Why would you give a mule a bath? If the police came to your house and found a mule in your bathtub, do you need a lawyer? Do lawyers advertised in the Yellow Pages about their expertise in this area as they do divorces? I don’t know if I would want to be a law enforcement official in Kentucky.
Don’t think that strange laws are a southern eccentricity. Think about these and wonder what caused people to demand action from their elected officials.
In Vermont it is illegal to paint a horse. You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset in Newport, Rhode Island. In Hartford, Connecticut you aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You thought that tying a giraffe to street light was a particularity to Atlanta. Well in Michigan it is illegal to hitch a crocodile to a fire hydrant. I am sure that firemen in that state appreciate this effort to keep them safe but are there enough crocodiles in Michigan to warrant this? Of course I would like to buy the guy who originally hitched his crocodile to a fire hydrant a cup of coffee and hear that story. Do dogs and crocodiles have anything in common when it comes to fire hydrants?
If you are traveling to Oxford Ohio with your wife make sure you do not put a picture of you or George Clonney where she can see it because it is illegal for a woman to strip off her clothes while standing in front of a man’s picture. Thinking about it, I would pay a lady’s bond with enthusiasm if she was arrested for this crime involving my picture. Is stripping off her clothes the same as taking them off? It has been my observation that there is a difference. Who put together the statistical data in Oxford to determine this was a problem?
Bathing seem to be a popular topic for lawmaking. In Indiana it is illegal to take a bath in the wintertime. Back in Vermouth you must take a bath every week – on Saturday night. Within the Boston city limits, it is illegal to take more than two baths a month. Virginia forbids bathtubs in houses, tubs must be kept in the yard. And Pennsylvania state law prohibits you from singing in the bathtub.
Another interesting law that is common throughout the United States is the prohibition against carrying an ice cream cone in your back pocket. How does the prevention of this activity help maintain the public well being? While I would not buy a fellow a Starbucks coffee to hear his reasoning for putting an ice cream cone in his back pocket, I think would spring for a small cup at McDonald’s.
I didn’t really want to spend any time checking on crazy laws in California. You just know they are going to have them. Here is some advice if you decide to move to there. Buy a hunting license before you set a mouse trap. It’s the law. You must have a state hunting license to trap mice. If Blythe, California is your destination, be sure you buy two cows before wearing cowboy boots in public. That’s right. You must own two (2) cows in order to legally wear cowboy boots in public.
You say that these laws once passed are not looked at again and forgotten. Wrong. Here is an example of a law being passed and then amended. Again back in Kentucky -- “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club.” Evidently they had some issues with the law and has to make a few changes. As amended “The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses.” Did somebody really put a bathing suit on a horse and parade it down a highway?
Just wondering.

Our World Wide Web

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. Eph 1:18-23
a long time, I have wanted to talk about the church, because I believe that church living is misunderstood. To many people, the church is an organization. In God’s eyes, it is an organism. It is a living breathing thing, so closely knit together that God refers to us as one person—“The Body of Christ” or “The Bride of Christ.”
We do not see the church as God sees it. Dr. Reuben Welsh once defined the difference this way. We see Believers like people walking around on the ocean floor in old-fashioned diving suits. Prayer and Bible study is our hose to the surface. This is what keeps us spiritually alive. in an inhospitable world.
But suppose one of us gets a kink in our hose by neglecting the disciplines of our relationship with God that keep us spiritually alive? Or suppose one of us gets a hole in our suit, and the hostile environment of the world comes rushing in? We warn them, of course. But if one of us drowns, the rest of us keep going. We grieve them, but we did not need them.
God sees us differently. We are much more like the crew on a submarine. If one of us runs out of air, we all run out of air. If one of us becomes polluted by the world rushing in, we have all been affected. We all depend on each other.
The church is a community defined by our relationship to God. The Greek word for church is ecclesia. It comes from the word to call. The church is comprised of all those who have been called out of the world. It is a body of people collected from all places and all walks of life who have been brought together by God to be His body on earth. It is not defined by social status, race, family, or any other factor, but by God’s sovereign choice of those who live by faith. The real church spans all denominations, all communities, and all kinds of political and social beliefs. It is made up simply of those who love the Lord.
In most rural areas there is a strong attachment to family. This attachment comes from necessity. Who else can we trust but our own flesh and blood? They are our support. If one member of the family is in trouble, we all in suffer. \ We assume that everyone has a family like ours that will take care of them when they are old or sick. This is not the case.
We need to see the church as a real family. In Christ, we are part of the same home, and responsible for each other. We need the church to be a family.
Why? Because that is what God wants. In Ephesians 1, Paul calls the church “His Body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” In the church, we see God in His fullness.
In worship, we can sometimes catch a glimpse of God. We are moved by the preaching, singing, and even the architecture. But this is not His fullness. \
In nature, we see His strength and His power. But that is not his fullness.
In human love, we see His nature. But that is not His fullness either.
Only in the church as a whole does God exhibit His love, His power, and His majesty together.
We are the only physical representation of Jesus on earth. Just as Jesus as the Word of God, the church is the Word of Christ. We demonstrate to the world of who Jesus is, by living His life before them.
In the body, we are not individual members, but one together.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:14-16:
The Church depends upon the support of every member. All of us, without exception, hold the church together by our commitment to Christ and to each other.
Paul expressed the same idea in I Corinthians 12:12-26
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body — whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free — and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
We are all necessary. Each person needs to give himself or herself to God, but we must also give ourselves to one another as well.
Let me suggest an illustration of the church. We are a web.
Imagine a fly hitting a spider’s web. Spider string, is not strong enough to hold a fly. What makes the web strong is its connection to other strings. When a fly becomes entangled in a web, the strain is passed on to every other string is crosses.
The same thing is true in a net. The safety net under a trapeze artist is made of individual strings. None of them are strong enough to hold a man. But woven together they are. It can hold several men, because it is connected.
We are much weaker in isolation. We may stand tall as individuals, but we will be crushed without a network.
If any church needs to be a web, we do. Trials and temptations have sapped our strength as a congregation. The only way we can survive is to be a web. We must bear one another’s burdens, or we will surely die.
In order for us to function as a web, we must have two strong relationships. First, we have to know each other. A trapeze artist has every right to be concerned whether the net has been properly tied. His life depends on a properly woven net.
We can learn a lot from penguins. In the dark days of an antarctic winter, the penguins huddle in a tight group. When the penguins on the outside get to cold, others take their place. No penguin feels the full cold for long.
No one can withstand anything forever. We need others to bear our burdens, or we will break. The church provides support for us when the burdens of life become too strong.
But what happens when an entire church is under hardship? There have been times when almost every family has become immersed in their own troubles.
Imagine that tightrope walker above his net. Not only does he want to know that the strands of rope are strong enough to hold him, he also wants to know that those ropes are connected to strong posts. Ultimately, the burden of his fall must be born by those posts.
Our church has often failed to be firmly grounded theologically and spiritually. When we do, we are disconnected from the true source of our strength.
This happens when we worry. Worry puts additional burdens not only upon ourselves, but on everyone to whom we are connected. In or relationship to God, worry is a lack of trust in God’s ability to hold us, our friends and our families. Worry is really a failure of faith, a disconnection between ourselves and God’s promises.
Worry adds stress to the web. If this world is all there is, we look to one another to solve the problems we cannot solve alone. We get panicky and desperate when others fail to solve our problems or theirs. We think we have to solve the problems of others, too. If our grown children misbehave, we think it is our responsibility to fix them. But fixing people is God’s prerogative. He is the one who ultimately gives the answers. Just as the strength of a net is in its poles, and the strength of a hammock is in the trees, so the strength of our communal lives are in the trust be place in the Strong One who does not change, or get tired.
Negative thought and feelings spread throughout the web. Worry begets worry. It can spread through the whole web if we let it. Disconnect yourselves as soon as possible from worriers, or you will be a worrier, too.
Positive feelings spread, too. If we have faith, others will be strengthened. If we love, others will love. When we mirror the thoughts and feelings of Jesus, we truly become the Body
of Christ. Then we know that God will support us, an not only us, but our whole community.
We are the body of Christ. We are webbed together. We are a world wide web, connected to one another and connected to our Spiritual Father.

Heaven Come to Earth

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
It is a curious fact of Biblical history that there is very little told about the birth of Jesus. Only two of the four Gospels mention his birth at all. Matthew does not really talk about his birth, but only Joseph’s dilemma at his conception. Then he skips the birth narrative and goes straight to the visit of the Magi, an event that happened some time after his birth.
Most of what we know about the Nativity comes from Luke, But if we examine the story carefully, we discover that Luke does not have much to say about it, either. The entire journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem, the manger, the inn, and all the rest is covered in just four verses, verses 4 through 8.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
But then Luke quickly moves to the shepherds. Once the shepherds are introduced in verse 9, they become the protagonists. The story is told from their point of view. Why?
One possible explanation is that Luke may have known them. Luke got his material from various sources, so it was possible that some of those shepherds were still around.
But that can’t be the only reason. Tradition suggests that Luke knew Mary, the mother of Jesus, in her later days. We know from John’s gospel that John became Mary’s protector. John moved to Ephesus, near where Luke was born. So it is more likely that Luke interviewed Mary, and got his information from her.
If that is so, then why does Luke not tell us about Jesus’ birth from the viewpoint of Mary? I think I know why.
When you are writing a story, you want the reader to put themselves into the story. The way was do this is by telling it from the perspective of someone we may identify with. Great events are better understood from the perspective of ordinary people. When Margaret Mitchell wanted to write about the Civil War in Gone With the Wind, she invented the character of Scarlett O’Hara. When Boris Pasternak wanted to write about the Russian revolution, he ivented Dr. Zhivago. Reporters tell the great events of our time by interviewing ordinary people who participated. That way, we feel as well as learn the story.
Luke. focuses in on these ordinary guys so we can feel the impact of Jesus’ birth.
What crosses to your mind when you hear the word “shepherd?” Cute little lambs, green fields, and guy laying around on rocks playing flutes? The I this image is wrong. If a shepherd’s life was so peaceful, then why did they go into the field armed? Wolves, lions, sheep rustlers, and angry rams had to be kept in line. There were long rainy, cold nights away from home. Sheep are some of the dumbest animals on earth. They will walk off a cliff while you are not looking.
Who would be our equivalent of shepherds today? Cops on the night beat. Long-haul truckers who stay out on the highway all night. Crab fishermen who spend months on boats in the arctic. Day-care workers and preschool teachers who have to herd children from one place to another. Homeless people, who lay out at night in public parks, sleeping under newspaper. In one way or another, these lonely occupations resemble the shepherds of long ago.
In these shepherds, the ordinary meets the extraordinary. In the middle of the night these average Josephs and Simons were visited by a host of angels.
In the Bible, there are many appearances of angels. There are a few instances when people see two angels. But there is only one instance where anyone sees a multitude of angels. It is these shepherds. Only these ordinary men in this ordinary place were given this honor. Their appearance symbolizes the meeting of the gap between earth and heaven in Christmas.
What does the word “miracle” mean to you? A miracle is the moment when the natural and the supernatural meet. Suddenly, we are thrust into believing in something we cannot explain, something which proves that there is a bigger world around us than we know.
The world around us is really a pretty drab place. If all that exists is what we see around us, then there is no point in anything. Why should we be good or bad, if this world is all there is? Why give our lives for others? It would be better for us if the rest of the world die and we live.
But let us suppose that the supernatural exists. Then we are not alone in the universe. Whatever we endure is not our only hope.
The supernatural is frightening, of course, because it means that we are not in control. That is why the shepherds were terrified, the same way we would be if we saw a ghost or unicorn. But once we know that the supernatural is on our side, then nothing is impossible. Hope exists.
That’s why Luke tells this story. He wants us to know that miracles happen. God is real, angels are real. We really do endure after death. God really answers prayers. It is all true; God can reveal himself to ordinary guys like ourselves.
What a magnificent vision! Heaven itself is rolled up and the choirs of angels are revealed. There is music like no human music could possibly be, unearthly and exquisitely beautiful. It was a light show in the night sky greater than fireworks or the northern lights.
I enjoy science fiction (some of it, anyway.) The thing I like about it is the sense of onder it produces. I was thrilled when I saw the yellow brick road in The Wizard of Oz, the space ships in Star Wars, and the dragons in Lord of the Rings. I know they are not real. Nevertheless, l like o think that in this great universe, there is something that will provoke in me that same sense of wonder. Then I read the Bible, and I learn that wonderful miracles do exist. Angels can visit shepherds. Heaven can come to earth.
And the angels are just the beginning!
The angels are not just putting on a show. They have a jaw-dropping announcement to make.
"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Christ is born. God has come to earth. This is bigger than a host of angels. All the fictional magical beings we can ever imagine pale in comparison to the true magic of Christmas.
Did the angels say this miracle occurred? In a barn. A child, so small you can nestle him in the crook of your arm, is living in a cattle stall. He is an ordinary child in an ordinary place, and yet he is the king of the entire universe.
Children, do you see what that means? You read about superheroes, spaceships, and alien visitors. Yet there is one more fantastic than that. You go to Sunday School and read Bible stories and you can’t wait to get out so you can go home and watch your cartoon heroes. Yet a real hero is right before you, in the carols you sing and the stain glass windows in the churches. This miracle is real, not imaginary.
There is real supernatural power. God became a man. The gates of heaven swung open, and we got a glimpse of the real world behind it.
And you can see Him. Look, there is the manger, go look in it. Look, there is the mother, go talk to her. Look, kneel by your own bed. Pray to Him, and he will answer. You can all see him, If you will open our eyes and look.
I feel sorry for children today. They have been fed so many fantasies that when they have a genuine opportunity to experience the fantastic, they cannot recognize it.
But miracles are real. Angels are real. Anyone can come and see.

The Road to Recovery

The year's end has come like a soft, beautiful sunset.  After Christmas, the whole family traveled to Atlanta to see my parents and sister, who were living together under the same roof again for the first time in forty years. My parents have moved into a new apartment in my sister's house.  First they endured, then they survived, then they thrived.  It's good to see them smile again.
Joy and I stayed in Atlanta for three days, and celebrated our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.  I used to think that when we hit this far-off milestone of marital fidelity that we would be bored and tired, without fire or fun. The opposite it the case.  Marriage gets more fun and more passionate, the older you get. Whee!
We came home to some serious concerns.  Jill, daugher of my friends Jerry and Helen, was found passed out in her home, in an unconscious state. they flew her to Charlotte, where she is recovering from a possible seizure. It was a trying tearful time for the whole family, but it she is now on the road to recovery.
Right now, my church is full of individual problems. We have had deaths, sickness, blindness,  home invasions, and all sorts of problems n the families of our church.  It can be overwhelming. It is overwhelming.
But they are all on the road to recovery, now.  They are getting better. Just as Joy and I are getting better. Our problems are not over, but we see some light, thank God,  a kind of soft,  warm line of sunrise on our spiritual horizons. 
One image that sticks in my mind in thinking about some of the trials in our lives, and the lives of or friends.  The image of a net.  we are all interconnected. We cannot survive alone, none of us  We all need the comfort, support, and prayers of each other, and we need some strong faith connectios with God. We have experienced the strong support of families and friends over the past several years.  We have also seen so man poeple come through their difficulties unscathed, because of that same support.  We cannot be on the road to recover, or the road to happiness for that matter without a community of love around us.  We have that, thank God, and it is good.