"Do not judge, or
you too will be judged, for in the same way you judge others, you will be
judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust
in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How
can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all
the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of
your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your
brother's eye. (Matt 7:1-5)
Christians often speak and act judgmentally. This should not
surprise us, since it takes a lifetime of growth to achieve any semblance of
the ideal we see in Christ, and even then we are not perfect. Just being a
Christian does not make us like Jesus any more than putting on a pair of
jogging shoes suddenly enables us to run a marathon. It takes consistent work
and practice to really imitate Jesus in love and tolerance.
No matter if it does take more than a lifetime, we should be
working on being more like Him. More
important than whether or not we have been judgmental is to ask whether Christ is judgmental. We strive for the ideal, but what is the
ideal? Regardless of our failure to
achieve the standards of our faith, is acceptance and tolerance of others part
of the standard we are praying to achieve? Do we really act like Jesus when we
criticize the world around us?
The answer quickly gets complicated. One day, the Bible
says, we will join Jesus in judging the world, (I Corinthians 6:2) but that day
isn’t today. The Bible also tells us to
restore Christians who are caught in sin, in Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should
restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted” but it
is not clear whether means pointing out their sins or accepting their
forgiveness. It probably means
both. We have to judge in order to
correct. To do otherwise is like trying to fix a car without knowing what is
wrong with it.
Expressing or even having opinions always brings a hostile
reaction from those who disagree. Christians
are called homophobes, hypocrites, Pharisees, self-righteous, and a hundred other
ugly insults. People don’t like it when we do not approve of their lifestyle
choices. Yet we serve a righteous God
who gave us commandments that define our way of living socially, sexually,
morally, intellectually, and emotionally.
These commandments necessarily and definitively set us apart from
others. To deny this is to deny our God.
This should not be a
surprise to anyone. Following Jesus
morality has always set us at odds with the ad hoc morality of any given
age. In ancient Rome, Christians were
initially persecuted just because they would not submit to a plurality of gods,
but insisted on teaching that there was only one. John Hus and John Wycliffe
were martyred for daring to suggest that the church was corrupt. In early
America, working to free slaves was considered by many to be immoral. . In Henry
VIII’s time, Sir Thomas More’s opposition to the king’s divorce cost him his
head. In Huckleberry Finn, Huck wonders whether his assisting a runaway
slave will sent him to hell, since all the “Christians” he knew approved of
slavery. Christians have always been in trouble for speaking what they hold to
be the truth, so it should be no surprise to us that we are out of step with
the times.
Being out of step with the times, though is not what this
blog is about. It is about living in a
world where we are out of step. How do
we live in a pluralistic society, holding to unpopular opinions, and love the
people around us?
Jesus warns us against judgmentalism. Living under a moral code does not give us the
right to criticize and condemn those who do not. Peter warns us in I Peter 4:
15 not to be meddlers in the affairs of others. It is not us to us to impose our morality on
the world at large, sticking our noses into other people’s business and
bedrooms, condemning whole groups of people without knowing them.
It’s not that we must approve of heresy, wrong thinking, homosexuality,
premarital sex, or even drinking or smoking. We get in trouble when we define
people narrowly with one word, using stereotypes instead of engagement. We are never justified in labeling people by a
moral or character flaw, instead of recognizing them as whole person. If a person is drug addict, a homosexual, a
Mormon or a Muslim—we may disapprove of that aspect of their nature, but it
does not give us the right to ignore the rest of them. We are not at war with anyone. Christians talk about “taking back our country
from the heathen” as if the “heathen” were horde to be vanquished instead of a
hungry multitude to be fed from God’s Word.
Once we have criticized a person’s theology or sexual behavior we seem
to think there’s nothing else we need say to them.
We do not need to approve of a person’s politics, religion,
or sexual practices to love them. We can
love those with whom we disagree. We do
not have to focus on where we differ, but should seek common ground. The first obligation we owe the stranger is
not to criticize but to love.
We do not criticize with
love, but in love. Love is the first and fundamental face we
should show to others. We may correct
our friends, but that criticism will be accepted only by those with whom we
have firmly established our friendship. Only when we have first demonstrated love
do we have the right to criticize.
Neither is it enough to simply believe we love a person
before we criticize. We must also like them. We have to feel a genuine
affection for a person before we have the right to criticize them.
Much has been said about love being first a choice, not a
feeling, and so it is. This is the agape love that the Bible describes—a choice
that is based on our decision to love, not on the other person’s behavior. Psychologist Rollo May describes this kind of
love as an act of will. The will to love
is based on our decision informed by or relationship with God. It has nothing
to do with the intrinsic worth of the person who receives this love. We do not love people because they are worthy, but in spite of their unworthiness.
Agape love shows
Jesus’ character to society at large. In
a world of strangers, where we know nothing of their lives, motivations, or
intentions, agape must be our first
response.
Strangers are strangers because we know little or nothing
about them. To practice love to
strangers is first of all to treat them with civility. We should help them when
they need it, but we should not meddle in their affairs, because to do so is to
presume on a knowledge of them I do not have.
I do not have the right to tell them how they should live their lives,
because I do not know their lives. They are the servants of another. God is their
judge, not I. To judge them is to invite
their judgment on my own life.
But there is more to loving others than willpower. Love is also a feeling, given by the Holy
Spirit, which is not the same for everyone. We are drawn to specific people and
groups of people, causing to feel affection for them. In such an instance, love is more than a disinterested
choice—it is a deep emotional connection. We don’t just love these people in a
disinterested way—we actually like
them.
We cannot always rationally explain why we feel this way
about some and not others—we just do. The Spirit of God has placed them on our
hearts. God has placed a small piece of
he affection He feels for all in our hearts, and told us to show it to others. We feel empathy and compassion for them. We care
what happens to them.
We may read about an earthquake in Nepal have a certain
amount of sympathy for the victims the odds are that tomorrow we will have
forgotten it. But a tragedy in our home town moves us to action because we know
the people. If we felt that way about every tragedy around the globe, we could
not bear it. Only God can bear the emotional burden of compassion for all.
Our emotional involvement in people’s lives sometimes leads
us to criticize and confront. If our
children are on drugs, we cannot ignore it for love’s sake. If our husband or
wife is cheating on us, we cannot and should not just ignore it. We have to
confront for their sake. Not to do so is
to send a signal that we do not care.
There are moral boundaries between people, just as there are
natural boundaries. People living outside the boundary of my home and family
have a right to behave however they wish.
But those God has given me to love are my responsibility. I have an
obligation to warn them when their behavior or ideas endangering their lives or
souls.
Some question this by citing the Old Testament prophets and
even to Jesus. They point out the
prophets criticized the idolatry of their day loudly, even traveling to foreign
countries to preach on the street. Jesus
drove he moneychangers from the temple, even though He was a stranger to them.
In reply I would first
point out that we are not Jesus, nor are we among the prophets. They received
divine instruction directly from God that enabled them to see not only what
people did, but why they did it, and how to get them to change. We do not have
such knowledge, and we should stop assuming that we do.
Second, Jesus and prophets spoke with genuine affection for
God’s chosen people. Their criticism of
the nations and of Israel’s leader was driven by a passionate love for Israel, just
as we might confront societal injustice today to save a nation we love.
It’s hard enough living a life or moral integrity without
taking on the responsibility of straightening out the rest of the world. We are
not called to be the saviors of the world--the world already has a Savior. Our calling is to live within a society of
strangers in the way that best represents Christ. Let’s confine our criticism to those who need
it most, and to those we know the best, and not waste our time judging
others.
