How to Have a Godly Argument

The church at Corinth was a mess.  The people came from Jewish and Gentile backgrounds, including many which combined religious fervor and moral apathy.  For that reason,  there was a constant  string of arguments.  The church was so quarrelsome, that they wrote their old pastor Paul to help sort it all out.  The result of this was 1 and 2 Corinthians.  These book are a catalog of quarrels, some petty and some important.  Paul writes in 1 Cor 1:10 

"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought."

Some people liked Paul better than Apollos, or Peter better than  Paul.  Then there was some wise guy (there always is) who says "Yeah,  well I'm on Jesus' side." 

Paul shows no interest in who's right or wrong.  He's  only interested in the spirit behind it.  1 Cor 2:12-15

"We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.  The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment."

Paul recognizes what is really going on here.  This isn't about who is right or wrong but who is important or unimportant it's about power and status,  not truth.  

Disagreements and differences of opinions are healthy things.  Giving and receiving criticism benefits the giver and the receiver, if it is taken in the right spirit.  In an argument,  either both win or both lose. We either come to a greater mutual understanding or we do not.  But the quarrels in most churches are about one group getting mastery over  another. In Corinth, the self important co-opted the reputations of Peter, Paul, and Apollos, not to mention Jesus,  to support their own moral and intellectual superiority.

Paul reminds them that if we are Spiritual, we don't need to be proven right or wrong. Our self-worth comes from Jesus, not our status in the church.  1 Cor 2:14

"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

If we don't have the Spirit,  we are forever looking for validation from being right or being accepted. We look for proof we are better than others by winning arguments or getting authority. 

Arrogance and humility cannot coexist. We are either proud or submissive to the Spirit.  We can't be both at the same time.

Then Paul goes on to other problems.  In chapter 6,  Paul talks about the lawsuits between believers. They ought to be able to settle it among themselves, he says.  But it isn't the lawsuit itself that is his proof of their unspirituality.  It is their need for it.   1 Cor 6:7-8

"The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?  Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers. "

Lawsuits are a form of warfare.  If we have to sue and defend ourselves against lawsuits from brothers, then we have already been defeated, since we have lost fellowship with our brothers.  We have already lost our spiritual authority.

There were many arguments in Corinth--about hair,  meat,  worship styles,  spiritual gifts,  communion.  Paul never suggests that they should not have those arguments.  In fact, Paul doesn't mind entering the debate himself.  But what is more important to him is how we have them.  If our debate is founded on a loving relationship, then we  can grow closer through the debate. But when arguments drive us apart,  we are nonspiritual.  We do not have the Spirit of God.    

Disagreements are not our problem.  Or problem is valuing trivialities over people.  The goal of the Christian life is not to have answers for every question, but to love God with all our hearts, and to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves.  It's better to lose an argument than to lose a friend.