As a pastor, I have preached and taught hundreds of times on the subject of prayer. I know all about its importance. I understand the vital need for it. I realize that prayer is the most important thing we do.
I know all about prayer. The problem is I don’t always practice what I preach. I read somewhere that the average pastor spends no more than three minutes a day in prayer. Many days, I am that average pastor. As much as I talk about prayer, I often still neglect it. I can talk the talk, but I fail to walk the walk.
Why don’t I? For the same reasons as everyone else. I get busy. I get distracted. I get bored. Other people tell of the mystical joys of prayer--I fall asleep. Other people write of the closeness their closeness to God—my prayers seem to hit the ceiling. When it comes to prayer, I can be a real hypocrite.
I think part of our (by that I mean my) problem with prayer is that we have heard much of prayer, but have never actually learned to do it. Prayer is not subject to be studied but a skill to be learned. When Jesus’ disciples asked Him “Teach us to pray” they did not have in mind “Teach us about prayer.” Every believer understands something about the meaning of prayer. It isn’t the meaning of prayer we have problems with—it’s the practice. The disciples lived in a day when rabbis didn’t just teach on prayer. They trained their disciples to pray. Every rabbi had a set of particular actions he required his disciples on prayer. Some had their disciples pray two times a day, others three. Some had their disciples kneel, others stood. Some raised their hands; others put them across their chest. All of them gave their disciples specific prayers to pray.
This has been the case for most of history. Catholics cross themselves, genuflect, and kneel as church-sanctions methods of prayer. Charismatics raise their hands and speak in tongues as methods of prayer. Most Protestant groups have stayed away from requiring such practices because we do not want to become rigid or legalistic. In doing so, we have often turned prayer into an intellectual exercise rather than a life skill.
We do have our rituals. We practice prayers before meals, prayers at the beginning of meetings, and so forth, without thinking of what we are doing. Our prayers resemble all our other prayers.
Eventually the form becomes more important than the actions. Then we think that the form itself is what God requires. If we don’t say it right, God will not hear us. If we don’t have a prayer before we eat, we might get food poisoning!
I’m not suggesting that we do away with these invocations and blessings—far from it! We need these rituals. They help to remind us of God’s presence in all life. I merely suggest that the practice of prayer is more than this. Prayer is a skill. We learn prayer by doing, not studying.
How does a person learn to play a musical instrument? By practice of basic techniques. Sometimes, the practicing seems boring and unfruitful. We are often tempted to quit. But if we continue to practice, eventually we will get better.
The same thing is true of prayer. Effective prayer requires that we practice it on a regular basis every day, and that we learn skills and techniques of prayer that will help us become deeper Christians
It is possible to backslide in prayer, just as it is possible to backslide in dieting and exercise. (I know I have, many times). That is why we need accountability and coaching from others. But eventually, we get better.
Martin Luther once famously said that his responsibilities were go great and the demands on his time were so severe, that he could not help but spend at least four hours a day in prayer. Not only do we not do this—we don’t even understand it! How can praying gain us time, instead of losing it.
The goal of this study is to help us all (including myself) gain or regain the skills necessary to become effective warriors in prayers. It will require working on it daily. It cannot be accomplished on a single hour once a week, but it has to be practiced on a daily, regular basis.
So where do we begin? First, we need to acknowledge the basic understandings of prayer that the Bible teaches, and that most of us understand.
The Basics
1. Prayer is talking with God. Not to Him, necessarily, but with him. In effective prayer, there is as much listening ad talking. Prayer is not about getting answers, but having a greater communion with our Lord and Creator.
2. Prayer does not depend on when, how or where we pray. We may pray anywhere and at any time.
3. Prayer rituals help us to focus our attention on God as we pray. It is best to have an undistracted, regular time in a quiet place to pray. It is also best to have a plan before we pray, so that we can get to business.
4. Effective prayer involves faith. When we ask, we should sincerely believe that God will answer. If God is God, then He will answer. It is therefore important to understand something of the nature of God before we pray.
5. Effective prayer involves repentance and humility. We don’t demand from God. He gives it. Some pastors and churches teach “sure-fire” methods of getting what we want from God. For example, if we say a few “Hail Marys” or pray using certain words as we pray, then God is obligated to bend to our will. This is ridiculous on the face of it. God is in control, so we cannot be assured what we want, even if we ask.
6. To God, the words we use don’t matter nearly as much as the condition of our heart.
7. We pray in Jesus’ name. This does not refer to a ritualistic mouthing of the name of Jesus. It is not the sound of the name, but understanding that our access to the Father comes through Jesus’ blood. We are sinners, and God is not obligated to hear sinners. But Jesus bought out access to the Father through His suffering and death. When we approach God in humility for our sins and gratitude for His salvation, then we are praying in Jesus’ name—that is, by his authority.
8. Prayer is not a force or a substance. We sometimes assume if we get more people praying, then God must hear us more. Or if we pray longer and more emotional prayers He will give us what we want. Prayer is not a commodity that accumulates by the number of people and times we pray. He says where two or more agree it shall be done. He does not say wherever five or more agree it will be done more. He says ask, and keep on asking. He does not say that if we spend two days asking, He might change his mind
9. Nevertheless, God want us to work hard at prayer. Why? I don’t know. He just commands it. The act of prayer (and fasting) puts passion in our prayers and helps us attune ourselves to hear His voice. We pray and keep on praying, ask and keep on asking, not to change God’s mind, but to change our own. God will not bring am answer until we fully grasp the question. As long as we think that some part of us still thinks we are capable of bringing about change by ourselves, we are not ready to receive the answers of prayer.
10. Public and private prayers are both necessary. Prayers should not be for show. (see Matthew 6) Praying out loud or praying eloquently does not affect the answer to our prayers. Nevertheless, Jesus encourages us to pray together. In Matthew 18: 20 He says “Whenever two or more of you agree, it will be done for you in heaven” He is talking about shared prayers. Group prayer keeps us focused. If we do not have the humility to pray for our own sins in public (James 5:16), then we do not have the humility to actually admit them before the Living God, who is capable of judging us far more severely than our peers.
Nothing I have said here is new. Anyone who has sat in churches for any length of time has probably heard most of this. It is not just Biblical, it is also common sense.
But this is not the end of our knowledge of prayer. It is the beginning. It is the practice that gives us the skills to be an effective prayer warrior.
The Parts of Prayer
There are many ways describe the aspects of prayer. However, there seems (in my estimation) five aspects of effective prayer.
Praise—the introduction of ourselves to God by focusing our attention on who He is. In praise, we remind ourselves of the majesty, love and greatness of the personage we serve.
Thanksgiving—the attitude of gratitude for what God has done for us. In thanksgiving, we review our lives and see God’s grace and generosity.
Confession—this is a reality check before God. We admit to God who we really are
Confession has two parts to it. First and mainly, we confess the things we have done wrong. He already knows them, but confession is our admission to these things before an almighty Gd. Our confession of sin cleanses the line of communications with God from all obstructions. Second, we confess to God what He has done in us. We declare to God His faithfulness in our forgiveness.
Petition—this is the least important part of prayer, yet it takes up most of our time. God already knows what we need, and what we are going to ask for. He gives us our answers before we ask. Nevertheless God wants us to reveal our concerns before Him, not only for ourselves, but for the whole world.
Listening—this is by far the most neglected aspect of prayer. We need to take time in the presence of God to do nothing and to think nothing, but to let God speak to us. Prayer is a two-way street. We cannot be effective at it is we have only one lane, from us to Him. We have to have two lanes, listening as well as sending.
Getting down to business
In order to receive what I hope you will from these exercises, you will need three things
• A Bible
• A Notebook
• A group of people with whom you can share and will hold you accountable.
This group needs to people with whom you can be open and honest. We must not be judgmental, but neither should we mind our own business. We all fail all the time, and need mutual accountability. Nothing ruins a friendship group more than passing judgment on each other.
Your notebook will be filled in week by week. The pattern for the first week will be repeated for each upcoming week. It is up to you whether you want to make a page for each day or whether you just fill in a page a week. I recommend using the notebook daily to write down what you learn from God, but that is up to you.
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