Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Leaving the Nest
We have happy news. Two of our daughters are getting married. Iris has set the date for March 27. Molly and Mitch have not yet set a date, but they are looking at sometime in the first part of next year.
For us it is a liberation, a light at the end of the tunnel. For the last several years, we have been consumed with helping our children. Now, they will finally be on their own and we will be free to think of other things.
When the girls were in high school, I used to say that the only additional things I would help them get to launch them in life were three "c's"--a car, a computer, and a college education. After that, they were on their own.
It was a foolish dream. Children today do not just leave the nest, they make the leap and return again, over and over, until they finally take flight. We are ready for that to happen.
When they leave, it will not be completely over. We will be another year or two paying off the debts we have accumulated to help launch them. We also expect that we will still do a fair share of babysitting, and hopefully some advice giving. But it will leave us in a position where we can once again pursue new dreams and gain new vision.
One thing that we have learned clearly now is that the only way a family can survive and prosper is through interconnecting. We we are not just individuals, we are part of a system that survives by helping each other. It is the symbiosis of parents and children, where one generation helps another, that makes a family a family.
The Bible calls the church a body, where one part cannot exist without the others. The family is a body, too. We need the rest. A family divided is a body broken.
Last weekend, we took the grandchildren to the movie Where the Wild Things Are. I honestly cannot recommend it. In the movie, a little boy moves in with a family of imaginary big, gentle monsters. The best part of his life with them is at night, when they sleep in a big pile. Surrounded by their bodies and soft fur, the boy finds protection from the night and the cold.
Our families are our bi piles. We rest together in life and death, and in that find our courage.
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