The Boy Who Stayed Home

There are two kinds of “good” people in this world. There are people who are simply “good” (relative to others, of course. All people are sinners, and there are none that are truly good). These try to do what God requires of them. Then there are “goody-goods”. These are the ones who believe themselves better than everyone else, and never let anyone else forget it. Not really righteous, they are self-righteous. Jesus gives us a picture of their souls in the last half of the story of the Lost Son—Luke 15:25-32. Not all who break fellowship with God wander away. It’s possible to stay in God’s house, be a good person, even be a minister or missionary yet still be lost to God. “Good” people can be just as lost as the prodigals, and not even know it. The Pharisees and other “goody-goods” are just as lost as the people they criticize. At the end of the story of the Lost Son, Jesus adds the story of the older brother in verses 25-28 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' "The older brother became angry and refused to go in.” How would you feel if you came home from work and heard a party going on in your house? When the older brother learned the reason for the celebration, he became angry. However, being a so-called “good” son, he didn’t complain. What is he upset about? It wasn’t his brother’s return. He was angry with his father. His father was treating his wayward brother as if he had done something great, even though all he had done was to just show up. In part, I agree with the older son. If you work hard, you should be rewarded. We should welcome the sinner, but do we have to give him the front row? People say, “Why are we so interested in getting new people in the church? They’ll just mess up what we’ve got! We’ve worked hard to be worthy of our place!” Without knowing it, we give the returning sinner the impression that he is not as welcome as those who have stayed. The older brother was right, but only half right. He was right in thinking that the father loved them. They are wrong about why. He thought his father loved him for his goodness. He did not realize that he didn’t have any goodness. His goodness was an illusion. He was just as lost as his brother. What’s wrong with the “good” son? He has three attitude problems Look closely verses 28-29. “So his father went out and pleaded with him. “But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders.” 1. In his relationship with God, he substitutes obedience for affection. Notice the good son’s choice of words. They tell us of his attitude “I slaved for you” “I was obedient”. Can you imagine if all you could say about your father was “I obeyed him”? What if all you could say about your wife only that she was obedient? Would you say only of your children that they minded you? Isn’t there a lot more to a relationship than being a slave? This boy had the mindset of a servant, not a son. He believed rewards and punishments were based on obedience. He deserved the fatted calf, not his brother, because he’d been “good”. God made us, not to obey, but to enjoy Him. Without love, obedience is useless. There was another problem with this boy. He had no interest in his father’s company. Listen to what he says next. 2. He substitutes friends for fellowship. “You never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.” When the lost son came home, there is no mention of inviting his friends. The whole point of the party was to rebuild the family and include the lost son. Can you imagine someone who wouldn’t go to a family reunion without having a friend along? What does it say of us when we can’t enjoy our family without having friends? People who don’t know God have no desire for His company. They substitute companionship with people for companionship with God. They’ll always spend time at a social, but not with God in prayer and the Word. This may explain why church socials are more popular than prayer meetings. Those who see God as a distant taskmaster do not seek His warmth and affection, but look for affection in others. Who wants to gets friendly with your judge? How can enjoy being with those that we fear? It is a subtle idolatry when we love our friends more than we love the Father; when fellowship becomes something that we have at the dinner table, and not on our knees, or when we measure our distance from God by our attendance in church rather than our enjoyment of prayer. If we do this, then we have wandered from the Father. We need to rebuild our relationship with Him, before we criticize another. We do not need to work harder for him. We need to enjoy Him more. 3. We substitute money and sex for love. In verse 30, we see a third problem with the older son’s attitude. He was more interested in material things than his Father’s love. As he complains about the younger son, he really reveals what is important to himself. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' Notice how he describes his brother, “This son of yours.” He can’t bring himself to call him “Brother” To him “brother” was something that should be earned. He has two complaints about his younger brother--(1). He wasted money. (2) He went out with prostitutes. Both are legitimate complaints, but are they really the worst sins the boy committed? What about breaking fellowship with his father? What about the hurt he caused his father? The only this brother can think about is money and sex! When we think about sins, we think about the four big ones—sex, violence, addiction, and greed. But these are not the worst sins people commit. Behind these sins is a greater one--breaking fellowship with the Father. No sin can be forgiven without restored fellowship. A person who is peaceful, faithful, cold sober, but doesn’t love God is harder to reach than the worst drunkard or a persistent adulterer. The younger son came home and mended his relationship with the father. The “good” son didn’t even know that it was broken. How does the father respond? First, He assures him of unfailing love. Look at verse 31 "'My son, 'the father said, 'you’re always with me, and everything I have is yours.” The father is a gentle with the “good” son as he is with the wild child. For the second time, the father goes out to meet a son. Then, when he finds him, he gives him a gentle reassurance that he is loved. “You are always with me” The father reminds him that the greatest gift he can give he has already given—himself. This boy has always been in the father’s house, and he has never understood the blessing of it. Second, he blesses him with unending riches. “All that I have is yours”. The older son didn’t have to wait to be given a fatted calf to feast with his friend. Any time, he could have had it for the asking. Anything he wanted, he could have received from the father. He didn’t have because he never asked. When we have the mindset of a servant, we don’t ask. God has promised to provide all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus, but He wants to be asked. “Good” people worry about money. They don’t believe that God gives money for free. If you want a calf, you have to earn it. But this isn’t so. You can’t earn God’s grace, any more than you can earn the stars in the sky or a morning breeze. Some things are too beautiful to precious to be earned, they can only be received as a gift. God’s grace is so wonderful that you can never earn it, no matter how hard you try. Third, he promises relationship and family. Verse 32 says “But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" “This brother of yours” Having a brother is more important than all the money in the world. Recovering a person you love is a cause to celebrate. It takes a tragedy to sometimes to help us realize the importance of loved ones. We go along with our daily worries and forget that the most precious thing in life--the relationships right before us. Then, when that relationship is broken, we see just how important it was. God wants your love more than your obedience. If he has your love, he will have your obedience. But you can have obedience without love--and that is a great tragedy. “My boy was dead, and now alive again. He was lost and now is found.” If only the older brother knew that these words applied to him as well. He was just as dead as the prodigal, and just as lost, too. He was dead to his Father’s love, even while he lived in his father’s house. He was lost to his father’s example, even while he was beside him. So are many of us. We are loved by our Father and never notice. We are surrounded by our God’s abundance, and yet starving to death. What do you have to do to go to heaven? Nothing. Jesus has already done it all. What do you have to prove to God? Nothing. God has already proved his love to you. He loves you, He rejoices in you. He is happy with you, because he has forgiven you. Don’t hold yourself away. Come and join the party!