The Seventh Lover

How could a woman come to have five husbands in Jesus’ time? It wasn’t easy. It was easier for a man to have five wives than a woman to have five husbands. Divorce was not easy for a woman. Her husband was abusive or unfaithful, she would have to prove it. Otherwise, they assumed that she needed a beating. If a woman divorced a man, she would be on her own, without resources or ability to live. So how did this woman come to have five husbands? She must have started early—about thirteen or fourteen. She would have married a man at least twice her age. She was beautiful—she had to be beautiful to attract so many men. What did she do to displease him? Maybe she was not a good cook. Or maybe she was a nag. Those were grounds for divorce in those days. Maybe she refused her husband. Maybe her husband just got tired of her. A woman had no rights except to obey her husband. Whatever it was, her first husband dropped her quickly and she went back to her family in disgrace. Imagine this rejection for a little girl. She was damaged good, and she was still in her teens. In spite of this, though, she married again. What kind of a man would he have been? He probably seemed to be a gentle man. When a woman has been hurt, she looks for someone who will not hurt her. She looks for some white knight, riding to the rescue. Then one day, a white knight appears, and she is more than happy to get on the back of his horse. But things do not go well. The white knight has tarnished armor. After a few years, he showed his true nature. Maybe he was abusive, or maybe he enjoyed rescuing fair maidens more than living with them. But in the end, he dumped. He divorced her, and put the blame on her. So here she was, a twice married woman—probably with a child or two. Her family is skittish about taking her in. People in town think there must be something wrong with her. The first time, they may blame the man, but the second, they start to turn on her. They question whether she should be living in a good town like that. Righteous little villages have a way of pushing out people with bad reputation. Now, though, she is desperate and alone, with children to feed. So she trades the only commodity she has for survival--her body. She is willing to marry any man who can get her out of that town, give her a place to live, and put food on her table. That’s where husbands three, four, and five come in. She married a man, thought things would be perfect for a while, and then he dumped her again. She was a woman to be used up an d discarded. There may have been relocations. With every husband, she moved somewhere else and started over, trying to be a respectable wife. But Samaria is a small country. Her reputation followed her wherever she went. This Samaritan woman had been beautiful. But if she were a rose, she was a fading rose. As her looks faded, so did her ability to attract and keep a man. Love based on physical beauty is doomed to fail. A woman needs to be treated with affection and respect even when beauty had faded. And this woman was seeing her beauty fade. For the fifth time, this woman was divorced (assuming one or more of her husbands did not die on her.). What could she do for a living? Eventually, she finds a small measure of security and affection in the arms of a man who does not respect her. He will live with her, but he will not marry her. All he gives her are false compliments and sex. Nevertheless, after five other husbands, this sixth lover is better than nothing. He will do until she can find someone who can offer her some security.. Then one day, this woman went to the well to draw water, and there is this man, sitting there alone. He is a foreigner—a Jew. Ordinarily, the Jews had no dealings with the Samaritans. What is he doing there, all alone in the middle of the day? Women come to the well. Maybe he is looking for a woman. Then she thinks this could be an opportunity. This man could be heaven-sent. He could take her with him, to where she could really have a new life—in the country of the Jews, away from the whispering gossips of Samaria. Maybe they treat their women better in Judea. . This stranger could be her ticket out of here. She could have hung back until the man left, but she didn’t. She have waited until someone else came to the well. Instead she went up to the well, and up to the stranger. He spoke first “give me something to drink.” She was coy, and sassy “How is is that you a Jew ask me a Samaritan for a drink?” "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." If this was a flirtation, it was a strange one! What could he possibly mean by living water? Nevertheless, she decides to play along. Vs 11-15 "Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?" There was a playfulness in what she said. She really has no way of thinking that he is anyone great. She is just carrying on a conversation a potential next lover. But then things got even stranger. Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." She understood nothing. Living water! Running water? Is he saying he has some kind of magic spigot, she can get water whenever he wanted? What does he mean by “eternal life?” Maybe he’s saying that he wanted her eternally—take care of her for the rest of his life. Maybe he was just joking. I am a romantic in many ways, but I am not fond of romance as a substitute for God. We think our lovers will solve our problems—that they will give us self-esteem or confidence and take care of all our ills. Lovers never do that. That’s God’s business. Eternal life cannot be found in a lover’s eyes. Nor will anyone give us by themselves a new quality of life. This had been this woman’s mistake all along—she thought she could find salvation in a lover’s arms. If she could just find the right man, everything would be fine. But this man had something else in mind entirely. She played along. "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water." Is it a legitimate request or water? Or is it a double entendre. Is she really talking about water, or is she talking about men? Could she be saying—are you the kind of man who can satisfy me, so that I would never have to go looking among strangers for another? If there was a double meaning un what she said, the next words crushed it. Vs. 16 "Go, call your husband and come back." I cannot imagine a thing that would destroy a woman who thought she was being flirtatious more completely. Call her husband? How could he say that? Clearly, she had misread him. Maybe she is misreading him. Maybe he just wanted to know if she was available. “I have no husband.” She replied Then he answered, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true." She was truly astounded. How could he know this? Had he been spying? That was impossible. No one in the village knew her whole story. How could he know about all five husbands? Then she realized the truth. This was no potential lover at all. This was a prophet. See verse 19 "I can see that you are a prophet. What is a prophet? It is not, as we often think a person who foretells the future. A prophet by their understanding was someone who spoke for God. So this is God standing before her and telling her that he knows her past and her background, and he doesn’t care. The course of the conversation abruptly changed from a light flirtation to a religious discussion. Much to our surprise, she is not that disappointed. What does a woman want more in a lover? First she wants someone who understands her. When we meet a new person, the first thing we tell them is our history. Then, as we come to trust them, we tell them our secrets. We first reveal a little of ourselves, then eventually et them know about the secrets we keep locked away in our hearts. What we seek from them is acceptance and forgiveness. We want to know that whatever we have done doesn’t matter--that they love us as we are today. Jesus did love her, though not in an earthly sense. He knows about our former lovers, our deepest mistakes, and he doesn’t care. He is not in love with our past, but our present. He does not care about where we’ve been, but where we are going. The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were much like many religious people today. They cannot get over a person’s past. If a person had committed adultery, or been divorced, or once used drugs, then fat chance getting their acceptance! In some cases, even if your parents were sinners, they don’t like you. Some writers have suggested that Jesus’ statement was a kind of rebuke. He was pointing out her six lovers because he wanted her to know he disapproved. It was just the opposite. This was no rebuke. It was a release.. Then the conversation takes another strange term. All of a sudden, this woman wants to kow about theology—verses :20-24 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem." Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." The oddest thing about this discussion is that they are having it at all. Why is she of all people interested in theological matters? It tells us a little about her background. At one time, she studied about God. But time had stripped God away from her. Being abused by men, she came to believe that God was also an abuser. Her curiosity about Him ended. But deep down, she still craved to be close to God. People are born with an interested in their creator. Sin and the abuse of this world takes it out. Just like people are born with appetite, but the emotional trauma of the world can make us into anorexics, we are born with a hunger for God, but abusive religious people kill our appetite for Him. So what’s her theological question? Can I worship God on this mountain? You Jews claim I’m in the wrong place. Will he meet me where I am, on this mountain, or do I have to go to Jerusalem to speak to him? It doesn’t matter what ground we stand upon, where life has taken us, we an always worship Him. If we stop looking at our surroundings and start looking at our loving and accepting God, we can have hope. It doesn’t matter where you are now in live. It only matters where you want to be. Do you want to worship God in spirit and in truth? Then you can. Now, lets look at one more thing Jesus tells in verses 25-26 The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) "is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us." Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he." What does “messiah” mean? We always think of it as “king” or Lord. But the concept of a king is to distant to adequately explain what Jesus is. A woman in those days called her husband “lord” as well. So Messiah, Christ, Jesus was saying he wasn’t her lover in a physical sense, but he was her Lord. He was her husband. He would te the ont to protect, her comfort her, guide her, as a husband loves and protects his wife. He wa not only her lord, of course. He was the lord of the whole world. But for her personally, he would be her husband—her seventh and final lover. God did not send Jesus in the world to judge you or condemn you. He sent Him to love you, save you, lead you. He sent him to be your Lord and savior. Will you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior? He is the only lover who will never let you down.